


Ordinary Volatility and Ordinary Amusement

by silvia8917



Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Amusement Park, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light and Soichiro - mentioned, Original Character(s), Post-Kira, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 10:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8485222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvia8917/pseuds/silvia8917
Summary: Five friends go to Spaceland to celebrate Sayu Yagami’s 21st birthday. Sayu thinks the only thing she needs to mind is a confession that may or may not happen. This is an ordinary day and she is an ordinary girl, after all. Even when she thinks about the past, there is a sand octopus wearing shoes. (Written for Tumblr Halloween Secret Shinigami Gift Exchange. Prompt: Sayu x OC)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I have made it clear in the story itself, but if anyone wants more reminders, Sayu’s 21st birthday is in June 2010, which is after the kidnap (October 2009), Soichiro’s death (November 2009) and Light’s death (January 2010) (manga timelines). She and Sachiko are not informed about the truth of the Kira case. These may be grim reminders but rest assured this is not a sad story. Spaceland is where (one of) Light’s girlfriend(s) insists to go even after she sees a man dying in a car crash. It is a symbol of resilience. I mean it.
> 
> As mentioned in the summary, this was originally written for the Hallow Secret Shinigami Gift Exchange on tumblr. The prompt "Sayu x oc" was given by my "Kira", jessilyn26966.

Sayu Yagami thinks she has definitely recovered from the… incident she’d rather not retell. Recovered enough, that is.

 

Recovered enough to wonder whether Hikaru Torino will confess to her in Spaceland.

 

‘Huh, no ferris wheel?’ Sayu watches Hikaru react to the ticket agent, who is apologising for the maintenance work causing the ferris wheel to close today. Hikaru looks calm, but Sayu recognises his signature ‘thinking expression’. Is he contemplating alternative plans, now that the amusement park’s most popular venue for confession is unavailable? Or is it all in Sayu’s imagination? Maybe he is only thinking of what else he can play.

 

She is not even sure that he wants to confess or even likes her that way. It may only be a normal friends’ outing—there are five of them today and they are supposed to be celebrating her 21st birthday, after all.

 

Among them is Mariko, who told her about Hikaru’s alleged crush. She was thoroughly convinced last autumn that he planned to ‘do something about it soonish’, maybe at Christmas or Valentine. But then Sayu took months of break from college. Hikaru and the others do not know about the Incident but they must know something bad has happened, and news of her loss of family members have certainly reached them. Will Hikaru think it is too soon (if he really has this in mind, that is)? And, in truth, is Sayu herself ready?

 

‘Yagami, which one do you like?’ Immersed in her daydreaming, she is unaware that Hikaru is back from the ticket booth and handing out tickets to everyone. He shows her all the five designs, three with different amusement rides, one with a family scooping goldfish, and a final one showing a stout white robot—Captain Milky Star, the Spaceland mascot. ‘And uh… are you okay?’

 

‘I’m fine. A bit distracted just now.’ She smiles a little and picks a ticket.

 

Hikaru stares long enough to determine that her smile is genuine. ‘Okay then…’ He says clumsily, and then looks at which ticket she has chosen. ‘The drop tower! Ha, well, we’ll sure go to that one today, alright?’ White teeth flash from a wide, mischievous grin, and Sayu feels her own smile widens.

 

This seems to be a fine day. She is not only talking about the weather.

 

* * *

 

 

They casually banter about today’s schedule when they walk into Spaceland. It is agreed that Adventure Zone is the first place to go (Hikaru wins that one by saying Sayu wants to play the drop tower) but Taro, whom everyone nicknames ‘Tarot’, waves his goldfish-scooping booth ticket and insists that Booth Avenue must be the next stop.

 

‘Because there’s a fortune-telling booth? Don’t you do fortune-telling every special holiday and every other Saturday already?’ Rena rolls her eyes.

 

‘But I’ve never visited this one! What if this one is really good?’

 

‘Fortune-telling is so stupid!’ Hikaru chimes in.

 

‘Oh, because you’re the cleverest guy to have ever walked on earth?’ Mariko smirks. ‘Sayu knows all about that, right?’

 

The corners of Sayu’s mouth go up. She gets the cue immediately. ‘Right! Genius Hikaru Torino, putting Einstein and Newton to shame! May no one ever beat him in calculus!’ Hikaru groans but knows a lost battle when he sees one. Sayu and Mariko laugh.

 

Sayu and Hikaru knew each other when he saw her frowning to a page of calculus exercise. She had often been not very good in math and used to rely on her brother for that, before he moved out of their parents’ house. She struggled on her own during her high school years, and when Hikaru offered to help in her first college class, her heart warmed right away as if she had her brilliant and kind big brother covering her back again.

 

‘… Let’s do it together, shall we?’ Hikaru voiced his question softly and a bit shyly, and he probably did not expect and was a little dazzled by the big, bright smile in return.

 

She was anticipating Light Yagami 2.0 so much that it did not occur to her Hikaru might not be as good in calculus as he thought. They ended up really needing to ‘do it together’. They fumbled through the class together, then the next class, then the whole semester. In fact, as Sayu told Mariko and Rena at one dinner, she thought she had helped Hikaru more than the other way round.

 

She was not complaining, though. On surface, it was because she found out Hikaru’s other expertise, such as being good at English and a rather fast runner, that could help her in other ways—anyway, that was what she told him after the mid-term exam, when he apologised for perhaps the third or fourth time (after she teased him for perhaps the third or fourth time, ahem).

 

Deep down, she was grateful for her encounter with Hikaru bolstering her confidence. She might have done her own math since high school, but it was not until she had someone else struggling with her, side by side, that she started to embrace the challenge. It was at this moment of her life that ‘difficult things’ ceased being what she hated most in the world.

 

The five friends meander their way through the crowd, and Mariko leans towards Sayu and whispers while the other three are still teasing each other. ‘I say, Torino-kun looked enchanted when you laughed just now! He’s absolutely going to confess today!’ The excitement in her voice is apparent. ‘Do you think you’ll accept?’

 

‘I think Tarot should ask you to tell the future for him, Mariko.’

 

* * *

 

 

They walk past a group of loud-talking men and arrive at Adventure Zone, Sayu still ruminating on her newfound courage in the face of challenges. _What if she was still the Sayu Yagami six years ago? She can’t even imagine…_

 

‘How come the queues are already so long? It’s only ten thirty!’ Rena pouts when they see hordes of entertainment-seekers lining up at every gate. Most are groups of friends like them, or young couples, with the occasional families with little children.

 

They line up for one of the roller coasters, where the queue is relatively short but loud. A small girl—too short to board any ride in Adventure Zone—is wailing to leave while her older brother—tall enough for any height limit, of course—vehemently refuses. Their soft-spoken parents have more success flinging apologies at all directions than actually calming their kids down.

 

Since the family are just before Sayu, she starts a lecture once the tear-brimmed girl whimpers something like ‘Kira will punish bad people like you’. Quite a number of queuers who simply ignored the naïve quarrel finally spare the siblings a second glance.

 

‘A good girl like you should not depend on bad people like Kira to make your wish come true,’ Sayu begins, perhaps a little more heatedly than she has planned. ‘And you would _not_ like it if Kira killed your brother…’ She feels her voice shake, and Hikaru and Mariko place a placating hand on each of her shoulders while Rena chips in a nervous ‘Kira’s gone, anyway, amirite? Ahahaha…’

 

The retort comes from an unexpected source. ‘Who’re you, pork? Don’t talk to Hana!’ The brother’s parents redden, gasp (‘Shota! Language!’), apologise more profusely and finally set to leave with both of their children. Some people watch, but all ultimately return to their own chatter or whatever is on their phone.

 

‘Peace at last,’ Tarot deadpans, watching Shota and Hana being hurled away from Adventure Zone by their scandalised parents. ‘And wasn’t that girl funny? The “judgements” have stopped for months so it really looks like Kira’s gone since January, and the girl was still all about it… So, um…’ Sayu and the others stare at him silently before he finally remembers hearing that one of his friends lost two family members working in the NPA when the Kira case was being wrapped up. ‘And that girl’s obviously wearing a floral dress because her name means “flower”! Hahahahaha! Anyone interested in floromancy?’

 

Rena and Mariko indulge Tarot’s glaring diversion with witty bickering, against which he defends fiercely, leaving Sayu and Hikaru together in the ‘peace’ acquired. The roller coaster admits a new round of players and the five of them move along.

 

Sayu wonders which would be better, feeling salty over what she had lost to Kira alone or now, half dreading yet half hoping for Hikaru to speak.

 

Hikaru leans on the railing, and then stops leaning on the railing, straightens himself and looks somewhat restless. He gives her something between a smile and a grin, but does not talk. He is thinking—it is always very obvious when he thinks—probably fidgeting about whether and what he should say. Sayu is reminded of the fact that he is not the most eloquent speaker in the world, and feels slightly abashed of her expectations. Hasn’t she just resolved to deal with her own problems?

 

But Hikaru finally strikes up enough guts to speak at this exact moment. ‘Hey… You remember those “impromptu speaking exercise” we needed to do when we were freshmen? Choose one of two topics and talk for three minutes? Look, I’m giving you two topics right now…’ He has to do his own impromptu thinking (again) (so obvious) to make up ‘topics’.

 

Sayu has not expected this. ‘Impromptu speaking?’ Even though it sounds absurd, she still feels her interest go up a little. ‘Weren’t those practices in English? So we need to practise English in Spaceland, on my birthday?’

 

She is about to add more teasing when Hikaru continues, ‘no, Japanese is fine! Now, Topic 1: Your favourite brand of shoes.’ Sayu tilts her head. Hikaru has never been particularly interested in shoes. Her comrade for shoe-talk (or any fashion-talk, really) has always been Rena. ‘Topic 2: Your favourite birthday memory with your family.’ Hikaru is looking straight into Sayu’s eyes.

 

Sayu is also looking straight into Hikaru’s eyes. But she is also seeing so much more—of a past which can never return again, but which she will forever cherish. Before she knows, she is retelling with perfect clarity and in great detail her eight-year-old birthday, when Soichiro Yagami actually had a day-off and drove his beloved wife, son and daughter to the sea.

 

Her tale is interrupted by their turn for the roller coaster. But even after all the spinning and diving and having their ears violently bump into the safety harnesses (‘Must be why it’s less popular,’ complains Mariko), Sayu continues a thorough description of a gigantic sand octopus—each tentacle properly shoed—which she created with her brother. Hikaru gets the impression that eleven-year-old Light Yagami was going to build a sand castle but _someone_ argued that an octopus could wear shoes.

 

The roller coaster ride and the influx of memories make Sayu double dizzy. She may or may not have held Hikaru’s left arm to still herself a little longer than necessary.

 

* * *

 

 

Hikaru looks like he is happy for Sayu but does not say much after Sayu finishes her ‘impromptu speech’ (which has considerably overrun, but no instructor is there to lecture her). They return to their usual daily chatter and gossip (which the other three members of their group have a lot to contribute) but Sayu finds herself hoping.

 

But what is she even hoping for?

 

As they put on the seat belt and safety harness for the drop tower, Hikaru on her left and the others at the other row facing her right, Sayu changes her mind again and begins to believe that today will be a normal day out with _friends_.

 

_Unless Hikaru is going to yell ‘I love you’ when they are hanging 40 metres above the ground?_

 

In the guise of readying herself for motion, she shakes her head and waves the fantasy away.

 

The ring of seats mounted the drop tower which is painted with bright, clashing colours expected to emulate a rocket. Cool wind gushes from above, many players already squeaking for dramatic effect. Sayu absent-mindedly takes in the view of the unexplored half of Spaceland and ponders whether this is a better sight than what would have been on the ferris wheel—until the abrupt free fall. The five friends join in the exaggerated screaming, only that Sayu’s attention suddenly fixes on one particular spot. Annoyance flares as her legs inevitably flies up and temporarily blocks her view during the consequent plunges, and anyway it is so difficult to ascertain what she is seeing (Is she seeing? Really seeing? Or has hallucination finally taken over her abused senses?) when she is hovering in the middle of the sky controlled by a tackily decorated giant-cylinder.

 

Their turn is over, all players are returned to ground level, and safety harnesses are relaxed before being taken off. Sayu feels neither relief nor lingering excitement. Her good mood has taken an ugly twist. The return to normal gravity only accentuates the quickening pounding inside her chest.

 

She sees Hikaru standing up slowly at the edge of her vision. ‘Yagami, are you feeling well?’ He asks uncertainly and takes time forming his next sentence. ‘Um… when we were up in the air, did you see… I don’t know what, actua— Oi!’ He does not finish as Sayu suddenly leaps to her feet.

 

‘You saw that too?’ She clutches his arms as tightly as she clings to him for assurance that she is not making everything up. Meanwhile, Mariko and Rena gently lead them out of the drop tower area, with Tarot trailing behind, before the staff waiting to admit the next round of players comes to ask questions. Once they are out, though, they look uncertain how to proceed.

 

‘That was Booth Avenue, right?’ Hikaru asks Sayu for confirmation. She nods agitatedly but says nothing, so he continues, ‘there seemed to be… I don’t know, looked like several people were pushing each other around but it wasn’t really clear what’s going on…’

 

‘A row, then?’ Mariko frowned. ‘How droll.’

 

‘Can’t have everything perfect.’ Tarot assumes the air of sagacity, unsuccessfully. ‘Oh, where are we going?’

 

‘… Booth Avenue?’

 

‘What?!’

 

‘… Charging straight into the row?’

 

‘Why would we do that?! Um, Sayu-chan? Hikaru? What’re we doing?’

 

Tarot tries to gain the attention of the duo who now lead the way, but Sayu pays him no heed. Hikaru turns around quickly, but looks just as confused as everyone else. ‘Yagami? Yagami?’ Embarrassed, he glances at his right wrist, which Sayu is still grabbing with both hands while she pulls him to go.

 

‘I want to go. Don’t stop me.’ Sayu pleads, but the frenzy in her voice does not lessen her friends’ alarm. They are further unsettled as more people are suddenly walking in their opposite direction, seemingly trying to get away from something.

 

As they fear, the usual hum of the amusement park gradually give way to sounds of rude shouting as the archway entrance hanging a cartoonishly written ‘Booth Avenue’ banner enters sight. ‘What’re we going to do once we’re there?’ Rena’s apprehensive question meets no answer. Releasing the tight clutch on the strap of her small handbag, she hastens to the front and blocks Sayu’s march to unknown danger. ‘Sayu! Listen to me! It’s not even about what’s happening there. Are you—What’s wr—Is something—Is something the matter?’

 

Speaking is difficult when the thoughts in Sayu’s mind are as disorganised as a primal village ransacked by hurricane. Only one thing is clear. ‘I need to do something… Must… Anything…’

 

She tries to suck in a lot of air but still cannot breathe as deeply as she wants, and is even slightly nauseated. A weak voice which sounds suspiciously like her late father tells her that she is not making sense. Maybe she needs to rest, again? Somehow, she thinks this is exactly what her father—and her brother as well, for that matter—would have told her to do.

 

It may be better to just leave, go home, and bury herself under the blanket. Again.

 

But is that what she _should_ do? What should she do?

 

‘But you—we don’t even know what’s happening, right?’

 

She doesn’t know (she has so many questions). She is the girl trapped in a glass case surrounded by mafia (why, who, what). The girl hearing her father say ‘exchanged the killer notebook for my daughter’s life’ and consider himself a failure because of it (does she want to know more or know less). The girl in a funeral next to a mother weeping silently and a brother sitting rigidly in his _seiza_ , his back straight and unyielding as steel (why were his eyes so hard and cold that day; can never ask now). The girl in another funeral next to a mother even more silent (and why were some of the guests fidgeting in such a strange way). What should _she_ do?

 

She is startled when a hand is placed on her own, and in turn her minute tremor startles the hand away. ‘Sorry, sorry!’ A flustered Hikaru holds his left hand up (the other one is still locked in Sayu’s nervous grip). _Before her unexplained ‘break’, this would definitely turn into another round of apologies (by him) and teasing (by her) and he knows how to deal with an exuberant Sayu Yagami (even likes it?); today was going very well until_ this… Hikaru does not find the thought flittering through his mind the least bit helpful.

 

‘Hey, the noise has died down, hasn’t it?’ Mariko asks suddenly. ‘Maybe the row has ended?’

 

‘Oh, right!’

 

Hikaru, Rena and Tarot all sigh with relief. Even Sayu with her internal turmoil relaxes her grip on Hikaru’s arm a little. Mariko puts on a nervous but hopeful smile. ‘Sayu, whatever it was, there’s no need to worry about it now. Let’s take a break before going to our next stop? Do you want to have lunch now or later?’

 

‘You know what, now we’re at Booth Avenue and it’s calmed down again, let’s go to the fortune-telling booth!’

 

‘Nobody asked for _your_ opinion, Tarot.’

 

Sayu replies that it may be good to sit down and eat something, finally releases Hikaru and apologises.

 

_Something is not right with her smile_ , Hikaru thinks.

 

* * *

 

 

Hikaru takes a big bite from his hot dog, tries to pay Sayu discreet glances, and acts oblivious to Mariko’s trying-to-be-but-not-so-discreet glances to the two of them. ( _Do his own glances seem the same way to whom he is watching, though?_ Hikaru tries not to think about that.)

 

Sayu’s smile, while true to the heart again, is still fainter than this morning. Than before, before that mysterious long break.

 

The most they have been able to glean about that long break is that Sayu has been hospitalised. But more than that, she said let bygone be bygone, so nobody asked. Everything is very hush-hush. Tarot once asked him, in his absent-minded way, whether the death of Sayu’s father and brother is related to the Kira case, but how was Hikaru supposed to answer when he had been wondering the same thing?

 

Tarot went on and on that day. ‘I’m just glad L defeated Kira.’ That was about two weeks after L’s announcement, when people finally began to believe it. ‘Aren’t you, too? Nobody talks about it, but the five of us—we may have known each other in class, but we really stick with each other because deep down we all feel this way, right? Aaahhh! I really want to know what happened with Kira! Will you ask Sayu-chan about it?’

 

‘What? ’

 

‘I specialise in predicting the future, so to uncover the past, I need you to ask Sayu-chan.’

 

‘What? How does that… Meh. Bugger. Just. Leave her alone. No.’

 

Hikaru does not understand why he is remembering this conversation now. Is Kira really the cause of what just happened? Sayu was not too happy when the rude pair of kids mentioned Kira (And ‘pork’, really? He thinks she is very pre—No, not now, concentrate), but she was only beside herself when she saw that ‘row’. She ‘needed to do something’? What does that mean? When do people feel they need to do something? And she is staring at him right now…

 

Wait. What?

 

Sayu diverts her eyes once Hikaru catches them, but he feels his face heat up anyway as she fixes her gaze on the milkshake she is drinking.

 

_Is he really this useless?_ Hikaru cannot help but think.

 

He makes a fist under the table in determination.

 

* * *

 

 

It may not work to play impromptu speech for a second time. Things are so uncertain that he does not even know what ‘topics’ he should give her. Time for a more direct approach? What should he say, though? Is she even willing to answer? Should he talk to her or send mails on phone? And she is staring at him again…

 

Oh.

 

Sayu averts her gaze again, when they all stand up to leave. Hikaru blinks a few times before plucking up the courage to walk to her side (and ignoring Mariko’s gasp, as usual).

 

* * *

 

 

The walk to Booth Avenue is mostly quiet, but it unsettles Hikaru that Sayu does not stop peeking. ‘Do I… Do I look funny?’

 

Sayu looks almost startled by his question, but Hikaru thinks she cannot be more nervous than he is (unless she is still bothered by what happened earlier?). ‘No,’ she answers, ‘you just seemed to be thinking very hard. You’ve got a look when you do this…’ She thinks a little, then adds, ‘even back when you were baffled by all those calculus.’

 

‘Oh.’ Well… at least she still has the mood to jab him about his mathematical competence. That is a start. ‘I see, so, what do I look? … Constipated?’

 

‘Just concentrated.’ A small smile appears, but soon disappears. ‘I’m sorry. For what just happened.’

 

‘You don’t have to! Say sorry, I mean.’ Hikaru feels utterly underprepared for this topic to come up so soon. Now what? His turn for an impromptu speech? ‘We were worried… but that’s what friends are for, right? So, well… um, no, but, look.’ A serious idea enters his mind and he blames himself for thinking of it sooner. ‘Does that happen often?’

 

Sayu blinks. ‘Not really.’ She begins to realise that he may have been more worried than she thought. ‘In fact, you may say that… At least my mother thinks my problem is becoming quieter, after I’ve been—hospitalised, I mean.’

 

_The ‘hospitalisation’, he knew it_ , Hikaru wonders if they need to wait until Sayu wants to reveal the mystery, or if there is any way to work around it. But he knows he should not push. ‘It’s fine how much or how little you want to talk about that. Just know that I… we… are here. And when you say you “need to do something”, whatever that meant… you can do it with me… us.’

 

He feels like punching himself for saying something so cheesy, but Sayu seems to understand and nods. ‘Thank you.’ She murmurs.

 

They look at each other, but the heat on their cheeks makes them think that it is better to stare at Tarot counting the coins in his purse (for the fortune-telling booth, no doubt) in front of them, while the both of them need to squint under the midday sun.

 

Until they start stealing glances at each other again.

 

* * *

 

 

It is a really odd experience, to revisit the cold and haunting past in one minute, and then to tremble under the balmy ambiguity of romance yet to come. The contradictory cocktail of emotion is what Sayu feels as she endeavours to throw little rubber balls to moving hoops.

 

_What if the past year never happened?_

 

Mariko, Rena and Hikaru all throw their balls to the same hoop. The balls clash and bounce off, none of them reaching their destination. The three of them moan loudly, inducing a ring of giggles from Sayu.

 

_What if she was just an ordinary girl falling in love and dating her classmate?_

 

_Can she still be that ordinary girl?_

 

_In fact, she is still very ordinary, isn’t it?_

 

All that has happened has not made her extraordinary, she decides. What she has gone through does not make her feel stronger, but only leaves her with questions and uncertainties.

 

She is so glad that she is not alone today.

 

The points they gain from all the throwing cannot win the giant cat plushie that Rena wanted—they are only enough for three key rings. Hikaru abstains, but the three girls are not exactly excited by the Spaceland mascot giving them the thumbs up. (‘Sayu, do you want an extra birthday gift?’ ‘Just keep your ring, Rena.’)

 

They step out of the booth to see whether Tarot has returned. Booth Avenue is not as popular as Adventure Zone, so it is easy to see that their air-headed friend is still busy divining the future, but a little boy walking alone catches their attention.

 

‘Pork,’ he also recognises Sayu. ‘Have you seen Hana?’

 

The rest of them try to protest, but Sayu simply asks, ‘your name is Shota, am I right? Why are you alone?’

 

‘Captain Milky Star kidnapped Hana! I’m going to save her!’

 

‘Kidnapped?’

 

‘Captain Milky Star?! As in the one in this key ring? Are you serious?’

 

‘Of course I am! He took Hana when Dad and Mum were not looking! I must save her!’

 

‘If Hana was not with any of you, maybe the staff playing Captain Milky Star simply thought she was lost?’

 

‘Wait, Shota,’ Hikaru says, ‘doesn’t that mean now your parents have lost _both_ you and Hana?’

 

‘After I find Hana, we’ll go and find them!’

 

‘Lovely. Well done, Shota-chan.’ Rena rolls her eyes and turns to her friends. ‘What shall we do now?’

 

They try to call Shota’s parents by phone, but the boy only remembers their home number and apparently nobody is at home at the moment. Finally, Sayu proposes that they go back to the booth and tell the staff about this.

 

She holds out her hand, but Shota does not take it. ‘No! They’re all with Milky Star! YOU’re all with Milky Star!’ He screams and runs away, disappearing into the narrow path behind a bright-coloured tent.

 

Sayu tries to yell for him to come back, but her instinct directs her to run after him. When Shota mentions ‘kidnap’, the rush of adrenaline which has subsided before comes back even stronger, so does that inexplicable urge to ‘do something’.

 

Another weak voice—this time it sounds like her brother’s—tells her that surely it is not something like _her_ own kidnapping. What is the chance of something like _that_ happening to her, or around her, more than once?

 

But what was the chance of something like that happening to her _even once_ , after all?

 

Memories of the glass case and her father’s distress and funerals make her want to run even faster. She nearly bumps into people several times but she barely cares. Her heart screams when her body cannot comply with her wish and the little boy gets further and further away and more often than not hidden by startled passers-by.

 

Someone pats her elbow unexpectedly and she looks to her right, surprised to see Hikaru running beside her.

 

‘I’ll get him,’ he says simply, gives a little pinch on Sayu’s arm, and runs past her.

 

Hikaru is a much faster runner and successfully catches up to Shota. When Sayu finally runs to where they are, she finds Hikaru clutching the boy’s shoulders trying to calm him down while Shota screams they must find his sister now.

 

Sayu is still catching her breath when Hikaru tries to tell the younger boy that the Spaceland staff have already been informed (apparently Mariko and Rena stayed behind to deliver the news). Shota still insists that it is useless.

 

‘I must find Hana,’ he finally bursts into tears. ‘I won’t let Milky Star hurt her. I must…’

 

_Does she look like this when she wails about needing to do something, too?_ The realisation hits Sayu like a bucket of ice.

 

Hikaru’s phone rings and it is Mariko. One hand holding the phone, he kneels with one knee on the ground and uses his other hand to pull Shota into a half hug, patting his back to soothe the crying child.

 

_She wants a hug, too…_ Sayu thinks wistfully, kneeling down beside the two boys. She feels drained of both energy and motivation.

 

_What is the point of rising up to challenges when you do not even understand what you are getting into?_

_What is the point of wanting to do something when there is nothing that could be done?_

 

She feels like the middle school girl hiding her head in her arms so as to escape from complex quadratic functions again. Only this time she cannot simply caper into her brother’s room to get it done. Not anymore. She is on her own.

 

‘Yagami?’ Her reverie is broken by Hikaru’s voice. He has ended the phone call but does not tell them immediately what to do. His eyes wash over Sayu’s demeanour and seem to register her dejection. She is suddenly too enamoured in the concern in those dark brown eyes to notice that he does not even have to think this time.

 

‘Yagami?’ He repeats. She still does not answer. She is still waiting, hoping, wanting to hear more.

 

So he continues. ‘Yagami… I—I don’t understand everything; things seem to change very quickly for you. But I’ve said that just now. Whatever you’re feeling, or thinking, whatever you’re going to do, just call me. I—I’ll be there, for you—with you. I want to help. Can I?’

 

‘Even I don’t know what I’m going to do.’ Little by little, she leans onto Hikaru’s side and rests her forehead on his shoulder. It does not matter to her—or him—that his other shoulder is currently being pinched by a squirming little boy. ‘I’m just tired. Very tired.’ She tentatively holds the hand which is still grabbing a mobile phone. Hikaru perhaps tenses a little, but does not stop her.

 

‘It’s okay.’ He grips her hand softly. ‘We can figure out what to do later. Together.’

 

Sayu smiles upon these words, finally relaxing and warming up again to her surroundings—the sun, the breeze, and the gentle hum of the crowd. She closes her eyes, enjoying the momentary tenderness of idleness before she must wake up to life again.

 

* * *

 

 

The day reaches its end as all days must. On the bus leaving Spaceland, the five friends quietly occupy a corner at the far back. No one talks from fatigue. Sayu and Hikaru are both half-asleep, but their minds still voluntarily replay their earlier walk to the amusement park’s general office. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Shota’s parents were already there united with young Hana, trying to find a way to look for their eldest son.

 

It was a very slow walk as Hikaru had to make sure that Shota did not try to run away again and Sayu, well, she was no longer leaning on someone else for support, but she was still too tired to quicken her steps.

 

She suddenly asked, ‘have you ever been to a place you don’t know, led by people you don’t know, and listened to and seen things you don’t understand?’

 

He opened his mouth but did not immediately answer. The honest reply was ‘no’, but he thought better and said, ‘uh… that sounds… not pleasant… but you’ve overcome that, right?’

 

‘I try to be positive. That is one thing I have learnt from my father and brother.’ Her smile had a bit of irony. ‘And I do think that I’m braver now than in middle school! But knowing what to do is still hard. It’s just luck that things resolved themselves today.’

 

She gave a loud sigh.

 

Hikaru simply nodded but did not know what to say. Fortunately, she already seemed a bit more peaceful than when she was running to find Shota.

 

Her smile even became somewhat quizzical. ‘And to think… I was expecting something totally different for today.’ Her eyes suddenly brightened with mischief and turned to him. ‘Torino-kun?’ He felt a dim premonition (Tarot would be jealous if he knew?) but Sayu attacked before he could grasp it. ‘What were you thinking this morning, when you heard that there would be no ferris wheel today?’

 

Their drag of a walk came to a complete halt as Hikaru stopped and gaped at her (‘Why do you stop now?’ Shota’s protest was thoroughly ignored). To rub salt into the wound, the little devil chortled until she had to wipe away the tears of mirth coming out of her eyes. ‘I… I heard… from Mariko…’ she sputtered between breath.

 

This was still far more eloquent than Hikaru’s incoherent stammer. Burning inside and out with embarrassment, he tried to begin a sentence but failed midway every time, realising that even complete truth such as ‘I’ve been too worried since the drop tower’ would be an admission to everything.

 

But was denial any use now? It belatedly occurred to him that he had already admitted to everything with his awkwardness.

 

And did he mind? Maybe he even felt relieved about not having to grapple with timing anymore. She found the timing herself.

 

Sayu Yagami’s laugh was infective and the corners of his mouth lifted up. ‘This is an odd time to raise such a question,’ he teased.

 

‘A lot of odd things happen in my life.’ Sayu echoed his own bemusement. Playful screams reached them from Adventure Zone, the distance adding a buzzed quality to the sound. ‘Who knows what’s next.’

 

_Who knows what’s next_ is the last coherent thought before Sayu and Hikaru close their eyes in the gently and steadily swaying bus. Memories flit through their minds—of a girl wearing a floral dress and arguments witnessed from the sky, and further, like awkward conversations about Kira and unfathomable calculus, and even mafias and sand octopuses. But who knows what’s next.

 

The warmth of each other’s hand, accompanied by the faint prickling of fingers intertwining, is the last sensation they feel before drifting to a tranquil slumber.

 

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> I actually never thought my first attempt at DN fanfiction would be Sayu x OC and in the end there are more OCs than DN characters hahahaha, although Sayu is still the main and it is of course impossible not to mention certain canon events. (Though one could argue that we don’t even know that much about canon Sayu so…) I hadn’t imagined Sayu a lot before seeing the prompts so it was good fun. Of course I would like making things up. lol
> 
> As for the “real OCs”, “Hikaru” was the first OC name to pop up in my mind. My first reaction was to pseudo-psychoanalyse myself to see if Ouran High School Host Club (♥ for Kyouya btw (?)) was the subconscious inspiration (nothing came out of that analysis). My second reaction was “but ‘hikaru’ means ‘light’… let’s use it then lol”. That actually became extra motivation to differentiate Hikaru and Light so Sayu wouldn’t end up looking like she had a major brother complex or something.
> 
> Writing this also made me realise that college life or any kind of school life already feels very distant to me. Time flies. *sob*


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